There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
