Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
then he tried to convert me to islam
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
