He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Im part way to drunk.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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