Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
