I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
