And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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