look no pants
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
