im drinking this country out of the recession.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
