Christians are straight up FREAKS
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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