i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
