I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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