we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
