Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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