Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
