So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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