my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
