Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
