I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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