You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
