Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
