What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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