are you still at the devil's house?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
