I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
