i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Randomize
