I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
