id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
