can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
