So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
