Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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