She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
