He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
