it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
