she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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