Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
