I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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