the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
