So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
