Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
