He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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