If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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