They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
