I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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