The maid of honor just puked.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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