hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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