i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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