did you get engaged???
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
