I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
