I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
