im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
