well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
